A Thriving Marriage

A Thriving Marriage

Genesis 2:23 says, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”

God is the author of marriage, and he wants to see every marriage be successful. Successful means more than just that the marriage survives. It means it thrives.

A thriving marriage is one where we love each other, serve one another’s needs, and provide an atmosphere where the husband, wife, and children feel connected to God and each other. What does it take to create such a marriage?

Photo compliment of Jenny Ann Photography

One, commitment. God intended marriage to be for life. He didn’t want an environment where we easily sever the ties to the one we pledge our lives to. God lives in community. He abides in the communities of the church and family. He brings a husband and wife together and is actually a part of the relationship. Jesus said that what God has brought together man should not separate. Understand that God wants this union and every marital union to span the test of time.

Two, love. We often think of love as having a good feeling for something or someone. If we have a good feeling for western movies, we say we love them. If we have a good feeling for football, we say we love it. We judge the value of the item by how it makes us feel. We do the same thing with people. If we have a good feeling for someone we say we love them. What we actually mean is, if that person makes us feel good we love them. But let’s think about love in a different light. One definition of love is “an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.” That means we are not judging the nature of our love by how that person makes us feel. Sometimes they may not make us feel very good, but we still love them, and we are still committed to them. Love and commitment are very much related.

Another definition says that “love is to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” That means we help the person we love become a better person. Instead of criticizing and finding fault, we recognize the good and encourage. Instead of demanding that our spouse does everything we want, we serve their needs. This definition is in line with the biblical witness to love:

Three, a thriving marriage will practice open and honest communication. It is important early in a marriage to express the content of our heart in gentle and caring ways. Sometimes that will mean expressing gratitude, positive emotions, and offering lavish praise upon the one we love. At other times it means we will be honest about hurt, disappointment and even anger that we feel. As much as possible, we will express these feelings with gentleness, knowing that even when we speak the truth in love it can hurt. So we express those concerns with tenderness. Remember that words harshly spoken in a rash moment can burn for many years afterwards. Carelessly spoken workds can cripple great relationships.

Fourthly, a thriving marriage will be generous with forgiveness. None of us are perfect. We are sinners, and we marry sinners. Even though we may be saved in Christ, we are still imperfect and will stumble. We still need grace for our flaws. That also means our spouse is imperfect and in equal need of grace. Jesus said “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14). If that applies to people in general, it certainly applies to our spouse in particular. Loving hearts give and receive forgiveness graciously.

Photo Compliments of Jenny Ann Photography

Finally, a successful marriage, one that thrives, is rooted in God and Jesus Christ. In Jesus we find not only commitment, love, service, honest communication and forgiveness, but find our inspiration for these qualities as well. Christ empowers us to develop all of these special qualities in our lives. God is the author of marriage, and he is also the inspiration for our marriage to not just survive, but thrive.

Warren Baldwin