Balanced Lives
A reader asked me, “How do you balance work, children, chores and the spousal relationship? How do you and your spouse continue to connect when there is constant activity?
Good question! When I was in my early years of marriage a preacher told me that Cheryl and I needed to get away by ourselves for a weekend at least once or twice a year. I liked his advice, but finances, my work with a church and three little kids kept that from happening! When we did have time we didn’t have money, and when we had a little extra money, there was always a bill or need crying for attention.
Looking back, we probably could have arranged to enjoy a get-away on more occasions than we did. But, even if we can’t get away for a few nights, there are still some things young couples with children can do to balance their time and schedule and enjoy some quality time together.
First, see if you need to realign your priorities. Look at everything in your life that is demanding attention and ask, “What will I care about forty years from now?” Your job? House? Wife/husband? Kids? When you figure that question out, then plan how you can give most of your time and attention to what matters most.
Second, take some time for yourself and your family. Get away if you can afford it. If not, be creative with your time at home. Very likely your local community has attractions that tourists drive in to enjoy. Avail yourself of those local opportunities. Something that is affordable and allows my family to get away together is family Bible camps. We rotate years and spend time at some great camps in Montana (Yellowstone Bible Camp), Wyoming (Wyoming Bible Camp), New Mexico (Red River Family Encampment) and Kansas (Silver Maple). Mornings are spent in Bible classes and afternoons are spent as family time. The week is relaxing and refreshing.
Three, schedule in little breaks throughout the year. They don’t have to be anything big or elaborate, just little things that alter the schedule and allow a break from the routine. When I got home from work early one evening Cheryl announced, “We are having a picnic.” She had dinner boxed and ready for me to load into the vehicle. We drove about 30 miles to a parking area in Shoshoni National Forest south of Cody, Wyoming. After we ate the kids played in a small brook while Cheryl and I sat and enjoyed watching them. Planning and preparing was simple and easy, but the family time was relaxing and refreshing.
Good question! When I was in my early years of marriage a preacher told me that Cheryl and I needed to get away by ourselves for a weekend at least once or twice a year. I liked his advice, but finances, my work with a church and three little kids kept that from happening! When we did have time we didn’t have money, and when we had a little extra money, there was always a bill or need crying for attention.
Looking back, we probably could have arranged to enjoy a get-away on more occasions than we did. But, even if we can’t get away for a few nights, there are still some things young couples with children can do to balance their time and schedule and enjoy some quality time together.
First, see if you need to realign your priorities. Look at everything in your life that is demanding attention and ask, “What will I care about forty years from now?” Your job? House? Wife/husband? Kids? When you figure that question out, then plan how you can give most of your time and attention to what matters most.
Second, take some time for yourself and your family. Get away if you can afford it. If not, be creative with your time at home. Very likely your local community has attractions that tourists drive in to enjoy. Avail yourself of those local opportunities. Something that is affordable and allows my family to get away together is family Bible camps. We rotate years and spend time at some great camps in Montana (Yellowstone Bible Camp), Wyoming (Wyoming Bible Camp), New Mexico (Red River Family Encampment) and Kansas (Silver Maple). Mornings are spent in Bible classes and afternoons are spent as family time. The week is relaxing and refreshing.
Three, schedule in little breaks throughout the year. They don’t have to be anything big or elaborate, just little things that alter the schedule and allow a break from the routine. When I got home from work early one evening Cheryl announced, “We are having a picnic.” She had dinner boxed and ready for me to load into the vehicle. We drove about 30 miles to a parking area in Shoshoni National Forest south of Cody, Wyoming. After we ate the kids played in a small brook while Cheryl and I sat and enjoyed watching them. Planning and preparing was simple and easy, but the family time was relaxing and refreshing.
Photo from Project Alicia Photography
Four, enjoy an occasional evening with just the two of you. If you live close to family see if they will keep your children for a night or two. If you are away from family, establish close friendships through your church. Older couples at church can be surrogate grandparents to your children and other young couples can function as siblings. If any of these folks also live a long ways from their families, they, too, will appreciate developing close relations with you. As trust develops between the families, you can take turns caring for each others’ kids, allowing time for the husbands and wives to enjoy time together.
We live in a fast-paced age. It is wise and healthy to slow down sometimes and allow our bodies, spirits and families to rest and recover.
Warren Baldwin
We live in a fast-paced age. It is wise and healthy to slow down sometimes and allow our bodies, spirits and families to rest and recover.
Warren Baldwin
Note: I like questions! If you have anything you'd like me to take a stab at, feel free to email me!
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9 comments:
No questions; just an "attaboy." Good post.
An advice truly has depth when it was lived...Thank you.
I love that the Lord reminds us to seek His Kingdom first....and all these things will be given to you as well. I learned on my own that balance comes from Him. When I start and end my day with the Lord, nothing goes wrong. There are just too many distractions of this world around us. But being still and like what you said, allowing time to slow down, I know that He meets us in those times.
God bless.
Great reminder Warren! Thanks so much for this timely message and for sharing my pic!
These are excellent words of wisdom!
Good post Warren, we don't even have children and I find your tips very useful :)
Have a great weekend, blessings.
Would love to hear more about these bible camps- I have heard about bible camps for kids and teens, but never for the whole family! Would you mind to give a little more information or share a link on where I could find more? Thanks so much for the post! :)
Great ideas, Warren!
Life speeds along and suddenly another year is gone. Always, when I look back on the year, the best moments and most cherished memories come from family weekends or ordinary trips to the park or pool, when we're simply together.
Thanks for the great ideas and the reminder to slow down. Our families are so worth it.
God Bless! (Starting your book review this week:)
Lindsey - I have some information about different kinds of camps posted now. wb
Gorges - Thanks.
RCUBES - I like your consistent, spiritual approach to things. Start and end the day with the Lord ... I sometimes start the day running. Need to change that! Thanks.
Alicia - Thanks, and you are welcome. I appreciate being able to use some of your pics.
Denise - Thanks, and for whatever wisdom it is, much of it was learned the hard way!
Marja - Balance works for any period of life we are in, with children or without. In one month we will be without our 3rd and last heads off to college. (Sigh).
Kerry - Yes, it does speed by, and it is some of the "little" moments that we look back upon and remember as the big ones. We have a long list of "little big" moments. With the kids leaving, we cherish those memories now.
Thanks everybody for visiting and commenting!
wb
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